Ok, so it’s been almost two months since I’ve posted, and I’m scared. Yup, scared. Why?  Well, for a few reasons. One, I put my blog on hold for the summer, and if I’m blogging again, it means summer is almost over. That always makes me sad. The summer, so far, has been great. I’m going to be moving into a fantastic apartment, my job is going really well and I’m making a ton of new friends while catching up with my old ones.

The real reason I’m scared is I’ve been working on another blog, but it wasn’t working out well. The reason it wasn’t working out well is because the blog wasn’t personal. The subject of it… was almost too personal, it was about my struggle with weight loss. I tried to write the blog about my struggle, I decided to not disclose too many details for ego reasons (I guess that’s not an option anymore). I found it was hard to use my voice and tell my “story” without going into any details. So I return here.

I guess I’ll start from the beginning. I’ve always been overweight, even when I was dancing and cheering seven days a week in high school. I’m finally sick of it, and really, really sick of it. I’ve tried Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, personal trainers, reading books and seeing nutritionists. None have worked. Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough, maybe they’re just not right for me. Maybe it’s a little bit of both. I’m at the end of my rope, and have hit and climbed over too many walls. I need to try something new. So I’m making my struggle (and hopefully someday soon, my victory) public.

I recently had my metabolism tested, it was really slow. We found I need about 1,200 calories a day to maintain my weight. Key word: Maintain. That means, if I only eat 1,200 calories, I’ll stay the same weight. I’d have to eat fewer calories to lose weight. There are two ways to kick up metabolism: more exercise and eating more balanced foods.

So that’s my plan. Get more active and eat better. Both have been a struggle. I’m almost too ashamed to go outside and workout around other people because I’m so out of shape. When I do, I try to go to places I won’t see people I know. And eating better, well, if I honestly knew how to eat better, I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in now.

It seems like losing weight is always a personal struggle, like it’s taboo to talk about it to others. It shouldn’t be. I want to shout it from the rooftops, let everyone know and get everyone on “Team Tracy.” The more people that know, the more support I will have and the more success I will (hopefully) see.

With all of this said: today I took my bike to Lake Calhoun and rode it around twice, that’s about six miles. It was a true test, I’m very out of shape. It took me almost two hours and I had to stop five times. It’ll get easier. I also ate much healthier. It’ll be small steps, but I’ll eventually piece together.

I’ve been letting my weight hold me back from doing what I want to do, and I’m not letting that happen anymore. So if you’ll support me, thank you. If not, move aside, I’m on a mission.